I have come to be quite suspicious of ambition: the urge to “make it,” to create something famous, to be renown, to be recognized, to leave some lasting impact on the world, etc. There are many forms of such ambition, and of course not all of them are bad. But in reading of famous people, there is a common theme running through many of their lives. It is that many of them, towards the end of their lives, questioned, doubted, or even regretted many of the great works and achievements they had given to the world. By the end, many were never happy and failed to be at peace.

After reading about such people it is hard for me not to wonder about what was driving them. What were they chasing? If even great accomplishments can leave a person unhappy and unsatisfied then what good are they; and what are we actually trying to get? Is it obtainable? I can’t help but question our drives to achieve, and acquire. I can’t help but ask: Do healthy, whole, self-loving, self-affirming, self-accepting individuals have large ambitions?

I contrast ambition with contentment. Most of us never seem satisfied, always wanting more, always reaching for some unattainable culmination. By comparison the happiest people I have met are people that live modest lives with little to no ambition to achieve or accomplish, no desire to substantially increase their possessions or valuables. They have arrived at a level of contentment, contentment with their surroundings, with their environment, with their pasts, with their inadequacies, and with the reality of death.

To say such happy and healthy people lack ambition does mean that such people fail to have goals and are not trying to improve. Nor does this entail hedonism, reckless living, or a life of banality built around the desire for one big endless party or perpetual “trip.” Such a mentality is its own kind of “chasing.” The happiest people I’ve met also lack a desire for such a life. They largely abstain from reckless endeavors, drugs, late nights out, and loud gatherings.

I am not implying that all accomplishments stem from a lack of discontentment or some other kind of displacement, or that a healthy and “fully actualized” person would never have the ambition to do something of large significance. But I think that is very rare, and that the foundations of such motivations are different. Such people seem connected to a self that knows they are good enough, that can feel the miracle of being alive, and can recognize the wonder of such a miracle within the sphere of the rest of life and the living universe. Such people continue to explore the world and expand their tastes but from a place of groundedness.

It is anathema to speak in such ways today, especially in a country that mindlessly reaches for more, for bigger, newer, what’s never been done before! A recent commercial states, “Because better is a never ending quest.” I can’t help but think, “What a terrible way to live!” To chase something you know can’t be caught. The illusion of such a venture is staring us in the face and yet we are repeatedly dumbfounded by our lack of contentment, our perpetual unsettledness. No wonder we medicate ourselves trying to achieve, and later numb ourselves to get over the residual affects of having strained ourselves to the physical and emotional limit.

Some will say that such strivings are a natural disposition of being human. That is a different issue. I certainly feel there is some natural drive to accomplish. Advancement and achievement are not bad things, but they have take make life simpler, more worthwhile; they have to foster a sense of accomplishment that allows us to rest, sit back, feel contented, and simply enjoy the wonder of life. But we’re not doing that. We’re constantly running, never content, in constant hope that the next accruement or achievement will finally brings us peace or will finally give us the love we so desperately seek. We largely rationalize the whole process by claiming we are creating the ability to have an easier more enjoyable life but in reality we have almost totally obliterated the ability to pause and enjoy the very life we claim to be bettering.

We have to honestly ask ourselves what we’re seeking and why. We have to inquire into the quality of our goals. This entails not just questioning the value of the objects we wish to obtain, but what we hope to get through such things. Am I seeking approval? Do I simply want to be loved? Do I have a chip on my shoulder? Do I need to prove something to someone? Do I need to show I’m better? Do I need to hide my grief and lack of self-confidence through my accomplishments and conquests of others? We have to be willing to examine our histories and chart the circumstances that led us to craft the identity we have and the motivations we use to sustain it. Are we overcompensating for a need that was never met?

The 20^th century mystic Gurdjieff encouraged individuals to reflect, “Go out one clear star lit night to some open space and look up at the sky, at those millions of worlds over your head. The earth cannot even be called a grain of sand in this infinity… It dissolves and vanishes, and with it, you. Where are you? And is what you want simply madness?” Most of us are overdue for such an inquiry.